I remember posting this on myspace.. thought it would be cool to post it on my blog page.. lemme know what you think!
I haven’t experienced anything recently that has reminded me of my mortality. This isn’t about death; it’s about me trying to learn more about life. Right now, my loved ones are probably sleeping peacefully in their beds as my eyes hurt, and my feet are a little cold; these are minor details, but it’s my life at the given time and moment. When I’m done, I may rush to make to-do lists, categorize my day in my head, decide who to write home to, tell myself I’ll use spring break to get ahead in classes, decide on whether I should get dressed now or try to cuddle, blah blah blah… or just sit still. Maybe I will engage in personal gratifying activities like counting my scars, playing in my hair, picking my nose, or in other words, I’d really like to just live my life. I don’t wish to spend all my time planning my life because anything can happen and in all reality, I can do anything at any giventime because I don’t live my life based on a schedule. I know I sound like a damn self-help book… but whatever! I am the only one capable of writing a book about how to help myself. I have to live my life, learn from my own mistakes, make my own judgments, and do what I want to do because in the end no one else is capable of living my life… just ME.
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